shorts

The Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW), or 5.56mm M249 is an individually portable, gas operated, magazine or disintegrating metallic link-belt fed, light machine gun with fixed headspace and quick change barrel feature. The M249 engages point targets out to 800 meters, firing the improved NATO standard 5.56mm cartridge.
--And I named her "Guinevere."
The named seemed fitting considering she remained tried and true for the short time she was detained by me, but in fact, she was destined to leave me eventually.

Procrastination is a heavy-set man in his mid forty's who shows up around June every year and sits on me while I'm trying to sleep. And he tells me, "Just go back to sleep." The fact of the matter is that even though I may be able to tolerate Procrastination for a few hours, he'll eventually weigh me down to a point where I have to kick him off my bed and chase him out the door with a broomstick. Then I can actually get some sleep.

In one day, I was called a "horrible person" by three different people on three separate occasions. I probably deserved it too. Lately, my room mate has deemed me an "a**hole." Mostly because I correct his grammar and criticize his taste in food, women, clothing, and just about everything else in between, so I probably deserve that one too (we actually get along quite well). I guess I've become a "horrible a**hole" (or have always been one), but that's okay. (Pardon my French)

I'm wearing a bow tie on my head. I'm wishing this essay would either write itself or be dead. And that's really all that needs to be said.